So now that I have added a another baby, taken time off school, began my intimate relationship with Jesus, now have 2 toddlers, my mother living me, and a whole new craziness going on.. I have decided it is time to document. It will be a little of everything...rants, enlightened moments, proud moments, advice.
I am not by any means in expert at anything. I set my mind to something and will do or bend just about anything in order to make it work. Some people find this beyond insane, I on the other hand find it to be my saving grace.
One thing I feel I was blessed with is determination. Determination to MAKE my marriage last FOREVER, to have happy, healthy children, to have a livable house, to make meaningful relationships, etc. You know all the things that are important in life.
That being said today's post is my take on marriage. After having lunch with an old friend whom I gave my take on marriage to, I decided sometimes I just a little reminder myself. WHY waste money on a marriage counselor? One person will always think the counselor is bias and not to mention they don't give the best advice! Maybe it is the "healthy" way to handle problem but it rarely fits inour realities. Granted some do give good advice, but really the answer to a successfull marriage is simple! Here it is...are you ready....DECIDE YOU WANT TO BE MARRIED.
Not everyday will be blissful, the type of love you have for each other will come and go in lulls. YOU have to decide to make it work. Your spouse may drive you crazy. I have personally wanted to shoot, strangle, run over, stab BJ on SOOOO many different occasions. I have learned to BE angry, see yourself doing these things then LET IT GO and learn to think differently.
Example.. FRIDAY DEC. 23. The kids and I (NO HUBS) are going to head down to VA to see my family. BJ knows we need to leave by 7:00 (we had to drive him to his dad's wher ehis truck was)!!! He decides to take a bath, take a call, and then help out a little. I WAS UP AT 5!!! Needless to say at 8:30 and completely unsatisfied with my appearance for lack of time and 3 children we are heading out the door. I was so mad, I put an angry post on FB and imagined hurting him in a variety of different ways. Then I got over it. I decided okay, this happened so I would avoid traffic or an accident, and then I was fine. I had to think of it in a different was. I had a conversation with myself..opps I mean BJ and told him my new revelation. PRIDE beamed from his face. I'd like to say it is because I came to not being mad and rationalized this on my own without making his life miserable BUT I am pretty sure it is just because he was off the hook and had "won" and didn't even have to speak.
I know many will find this crazy but I am pretty sure I won. I made the decision my marriage would last NO MATTER WHAT and I am doing everything in MY power to stay positive and happy and in love with the decision I made and the man I promised my forever too.
LIFE, LOVE, AND MARRIAGE ARE ABOUT FINDING A WAY TO MAKE YOURSELF HAPPY, even if it means you may have to compromise yourself a little to be happy and keep your vows.
Get creative but most of all get happy in your situation, especially if little people are involved. Divorce is a choice. Choose your vows. Choose the coventant you made to yourself, your partner, and GOD. Marriage is not just a piece a paper, as many UNmarried people believe, it is decision made by 2 people. God knows BJ and I barely knoew each other (less than 7 months) and almost our whole first year of marriage was hateful, BUT we stuck it out and I have never been happier. Marriage gives you a sense of security, love, and that everything is how it should be in the world.
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